20Apr 2015

This week’s quote of the week comes from the character Sebastian Blood on the television show “Arrow”. The line was written by Andrew Kreisberg & Wendy Mericle. 

Crucible, Arrow

I was talking with a friend this morning and the topic of crucibles came up and this quote instantly popped to mind. Since this morning it’s been rattling around in my mind so I decided it was a sign to make it the quote of the week! Continue reading

15Apr 2015

When you set upon the path less traveled you are bound to face criticism, people are going to make comments and people who don’t understand very well may attack you. 

the-road-less-travelled

It’s probably one of the hardest parts about going after your dreams . . . of pursuing your purpose. That criticism is what can send you back to the median… send you back to being average and following the script the world wants you to follow.

Is that script you?

In your heart is doing what you’ve been trained to do really what you should be doing? The answer is HELL NO!

In no way, shape or form should you conform to what is expected of you.

Instead go out and EXCEED expectations. Set your dreams so high and lofty that you don’t have time to be afraid, you don’t have time to listen to other’s criticism. If someone doesn’t understand you, if someone criticizes you it is because you are doing what they are afraid to do.

This world is full of average. Have you ever heard of the term ‘Keeping up with the Joneses”? The Joneses are the average. When you keep up with them, you are agreeing to be no different than anyone else.

If there is one thing I’ve found when talking with twenty-somethings is that you are all different. In each and every person who has opened up to me on a deep level, I see this unbelievable spark of pure awesome. This spark that is unique to JUST them. Yet too many of you keep your spark dampered, shuttered or hidden from view.

Why?

Because that spark doesn’t fit with how the world “works” . . .

How the world “works”. . .

how the world “works”. . .

The world works alright, it works at keeping us where we don’t belong. It works at keeping us away from our life purpose. It works to keep us from being truly alive.

When you were a kid, now that was you! The real you, before you were trained by the education system, your friends, television, etc. to agree to this other paradigm. The paradigm that says the only way to get ahead is to work for 40 hours a week (who are we kidding it’s closer to 60), to get an education no matter what loans you have to take out, that you can retire with just a 401k, the only way to own a home is with a mortgage, etc. etc. This paradigm is built to strip away your individuality, to push you away from the true version of you.

criticism

Credit: flickr/12326606@N03

 

When you decide to show your spark and to go live your purpose, criticism will come. Don’t be afraid of it, ignore it! People who are living within the paradigm that you are escaping… they just don’t understand and it is human nature to reject and criticize what cannot be understood.

Instead maintain a deep faith in who you are and that what you are going for is right. Set your dreams higher than the moon. Dreams so large that no criticism can keep you from them.

I see your spark and I want to help you fan it until it is burning so bright and so hot the entire world has to take notice. So that it burns hot enough to fry to a crisp any fears, doubts or criticism that may come your way.

Credit: flickr/droidicus

Credit: flickr/droidicus

12Apr 2015

Today’s quote of the week comes from Elmer Letterman, a well-known life insurance salesman in the 1930’s who said…

A man may fall many times but he won’t be a failure until he says someone pushed him.

After listening to Tim Sanders tell the story of Elmer Letterman, which you can watch here, it’s a three and a half minute video. I googled Elmer Letterman and happened upon the quote.

The reason why this quote struck me is because I have been thinking a lot about failure lately. Reflecting on both my past failures and my fear of future ones. I’m at a turning point in my life where I’m starting to recognize the effect fear has on me and how I respond to it.

In my life, and I’m sure in yours too, we’ve made mistakes, fallen on our ass and in general just royally failed. Sometimes it’s intentional sometimes it is unintentional. The response we have to it is always intentional. 

Which gets me to the trigger of this quote for me… “…someone pushed him” that line just hit me in the gut. Thinking about my past I realized that whenever I failed or faltered and blamed somebody else, I made Zero further progress on that goal. Every single time… it was amazing.

When you give up control of your actions and attach the blame of them on someone or something else, you lose. There is nothing else you can do about it. You’ve thrown up your hands and said this happened because someone else did it. Which instantly means that you can’t fix it only that other person can.

This puts you into an uncontrolled state where your fate is not decided by you. Life cannot be lived that way. No matter what happens, good or bad, it is your responsibility. 

If you stand up and own your failure… you’ve done the number one hardest thing when failing, stand back up! That’s the power of owning your decisions; it allows you to always get back up.

For when you are on your feet you can move forward once again. 

 

08Apr 2015
monopoly

Credit: flickr/wwarby

What if your life was a giant game of monopoly? What if you went around day by day going from Mediterranean Avenue to St. Charles Place to Illinois Avenue wheeling and dealing and plain ole’ busting your ass to own that little slice of heaven known as Park Place. How would that make you feel? 

I don’t know about you but I’d be pretty pissed… my whole life, everything I’ve worked for or am working on is just a game?!?! What the hell are you talking about?

That’s how I feel though as I look back on my twenties. My life was being lived according to an intangible set of rules that if I played it right I would end up owning the board. So I put down my thimble, I rolled my dice and started down Mediterranean Avenue. 

One thing that always frustrated me about Monopoly was that it was LONG. Games seemed to never end and somehow, someway I’d always get screwed out of either the final Train spot OR being able to get a monopoly on any of the properties. It was frustrating as all hell and so were my twenties.

The life I was living, the life you are living is just a giant game of Monopoly. We work to pass go and collect our $200… try to avoid paying taxes… every once and awhile take a chance and never bemoan some Free Parking. The rules were laid out for us before we even began. Our parents and our schools taught us how to play. Graduation meant it was time to pick our piece, put it on the board and begint he game.

Is any of this resonating with you? Frustrating you? How does it feel? For me it makes me want to stand up, let out a scream of frustration and reclaim my life back. It’s MY LIFE DAMN IT, why am I playing it by these inane rules?!?

The truth is that was my life, frustrated, annoyed, not even knowing WHO I was anymore. I was just playing the game, consumed with attaining the mirage of “success” that was given to me all my life. Just trying to check off all those stereotypical boxes for success

[] Do well in school
[] Go to a good college
[] Get a good job
[] Buy a house
[] Work for 40 to 50 years
[] Then retire so I can finally enjoy my life.

When you lose yourself, you lose everything; your happiness, your contentment, your joy. The pieces of life that truly make you come alive. So many people I know have been obsessed with the real life version of Monopoly that we play that they have lost their girlfriends or husbands, they’ve lost their friends, they’ve lost their hobbies.

How do you lose your hobbies? It happens when you follow the rules of “the Game”. It is when you buy into the concept that “Chance” happens by drawing a card. I lost my hobbies when I was around 16 years old and I decided I was becoming an accountant and things went downhill from there.

Now if you’re still reading this you’re probably wondering where the point is. What is he getting at? Well here it is… the point of this entire blog is to highlight the fact that life shouldn’t be a game. There shouldn’t be rules on defining WHO you are and WHAT makes you successful.

It’s time to TAKE BACK YOURSELF.

The beauty of games is you can stop playing them. You don’t have to keep spending your time going around trying to achieve the goals and objectives that somebody else decided were the “best”. 

That’s why I am doing this grand mission of Beyond Quarter Life. So you can stop playing games with your life and instead LIVE your life. To go out and make up your own “rules” where the goals and objectives are actually your passions and your purpose. 

So that you can have an abundance of joy and happiness. So that you can be YOU!

Reflect upon your life as it stands right now. Look at what you are doing everyday and ask yourself…

REALLY and TRULY ask yourself, why am I doing what I am doing? What am I getting out of living life this way? 

When you have your answer, leave a comment or send me an e-mail at Patrick@BeyondQuarterLife.com or post on the Beyond Quarter Life Facebook page. I’d love to hear from you and talk more about it!

23Mar 2015

Today’s quote of the week comes from transformational speaker and life architect Jason Goldberg who said…

 The past and future are both concepts and NEITHER actually exist right now

The minute I heard Jason speak this quote it struck a chord with me and I immediately wrote it down. This quote contains within it a powerful message.

For most of my life and your life the decisions we make were based around one of two things. One, where we want to be in the future or two, what has happened to us in the past. Yet in this moment… neither exist, why do we give them so much power? Continue reading

19Mar 2015

I’m a people pleaser, at the end of the day it’s that simple. I enjoy helping people and making people happy. Since I was a little blonde haired boy of 4 pretending to be a Ghostbuster so I could save people from ghosts to the bearded 31 year old man I am today it’s always been part of my DNA.

I care too damn much sometimes and it gets me in trouble. Sometime I put too much of my heart into someone or something and I get burned. Now don’t get me wrong of all the problems I could have helping people is not one I am complaining about. I’d much rather get hurt trying to help someone than anything else in this world.

Yet there is a lesson I am beginning to learn that there is a line between helping people with who you are or helping people by being who they want you to be. This is where today’s blog starts… owning who YOU are. Continue reading